Sleep is for the dead.

I honestly cannot tell when was the last time I had a good decent sleep. These days I find it hard to even tell the difference between my dreams and reality. Everything seems so fragmented, like bits of my reality are really just dreams masquerading as day. Even my sleep seems so surreal, I am constantly abruptly waking up because of assignments and so forth.
I'm too proud to obviously ask for help, but sometimes, I wish someone would lend a hand regardless...
But, this is my burden to bear. and the one thing, even if it is the only thing, that I do well...is take everything the world throws at me! or atleast i'd like to believe.

Lonely

Have you ever watched a movie and as the guy finally gets the girl, you tell yourself " I want that"...I want the drama, the hearct ache, the love, the jealousy, the resolution and the happy ever after....but life isn't like that.
There is no perfection in life like in movies, so everytime you see love, you get depressed...because reality sucks in comparison. Our idea of love has been so bent on fantasy that we fail to see the good the life has to offer. Instead we try to mold ourselves into a more perfect form...and by perfect, I mean more like the actors we see in movies. At times we get lonely because we don't have a girlfriend, but do we honestly need one?!  In movies, the moment the male protaganist hits puberty, he automatically HAS to have a girlfriend or else it will fail as a film! Where's the logic in that?
How many people can honestly say that they were in a relationship the second they turned 14...and why would you want to be in a relationship at 14 years old?
Isn't the goal of a relationship to get married and start a family? Why would you want to start a family at 14? or even 20 for that matter?! There is no point in it...but because we are so heavily drugged with the media we feel that at 20, no love means you're lonely so therefore no life. -.-
just my opinion anyway...random ramblings of a misfit

Soo Much to do!!

I know I haven't blogged in a millennium or so, but that is entirely excusable...this semester, I took up way more than I can handle!o.O
You're probably thinking, film and animation? how can that be alot to do...don't you just shoot movies?! ...well no, we don't
let me run you through a typical day for me.
Watch up at 6, pray, shower and clean up on my drawing assignment if i havent done so yet...and odds are, I haven't...then off to university and if im luck, catch a small break fast. Sit through a 4 hour class and break for lunch, then back to my second usuaaly 2 hour class and go home to pray...no! im not done with the day yet...go back to uni to practice for soran bushi or else aikido which ironically always happens on consecutive days, and both of which end up at around 11...no, days not over...because I usually get loads of assignments from the earlier classes, so it's off to work...by the time i'm done with all this, it's around 3 am (if im lucky)..so take a quick nap and repeat...yes, so you can see how hectic it all is!

Pirates of the Caribbean

I am dreadfully sleepy but i have to post this before I forgot! Today, I watched Pirates of the Caribbean: on stranger tides...and the movie was Epic! As expected from Jerry bruckheimer! But the scoring was awesome too, Hans Zimmer Out did himself, it was more moving than the last!
I had fun at the C2AGE but i realised that its better to be a cosplayer than an observer, after a while it all seems boring! but i talked alot with friends (Akane esp) and had fun hanging out! :)

My heart!

My heart hurts!! ...and I don't mean this in a love way, everytime my heart beats I have this pain in my chest! It happens when I get panicked or anxious! It's quite scary, I feel like it ticking away at my life. I want to go to see a doctor, but I don't think I want to hear the results! I read an article that sometimes djinn can tell people when they are going to die through whispers and dreams...and I don't want to sound all pessimistic, but I think that already happened.
or it might  be Im just having a panic attack again..

Editing

Im soo lazy!
I've been editing for the past hour and all i've actually done is open up the software....need to get more serious! >.<

Candle in the wind

2 posts today! but first, a short intro to this song.

One of my best friends (kay) played this song on her piano. I composed a very basic song, and it took me like almost 3 days, I then gave it to her as a reference template, and then she made it perfect. I can't explain it, but this song has a sadness and an eerie beauty, It's like looking into a dream that you've dreamed before. Even I was so shocked to hear it, I knew she was good with a piano, but when I heard the piece, It moved my heart, there is pain and sadness in the song, it's like listening to a story of tragedy, but beauty at the same time.