Stressed

Every nerve in my body is stressed! Why am I stressed? Let me try to clarify because I don't really know what's stressing me!
Firstly, the results came out but seeing as I am still barred I can't know if I passed or not, and the suspense is murder!
Secondly, I haven't registered because of reason A, and I really don't want to register only to find out that I failed the subject!
Thirdly, I don't feel so pious right now! I mean if I died tomorrow, i'd go to hell for sure...but I'm not doing anything about it!
Fourthly, I made a diet and exercise plan which I was supposed to follow for 7 weeks and I hardly did one!! So I feel awful about that of course!
Fifthly,  I was trying to be more active this holiday and all I've done is research on stuff but hadn't actually put the knowledge to practice!
Sixthly, I just realised that people actually read my blog and all this time I've been ranting about hate and the stupidity of relationships when a dear friend was struggling with love! So I want to clarify here that all of this is just my understanding (or lack of understanding) of the way of the world. I had a rough and lonely childhood with a lot of betrayal and hurtful teasing which made my heart hardened to people. I can't trust them anymore because the 3 times I actually threw all my faith into someone, they all let me down and I was left broken. So everyone else pursue happy dreams and so on, I don't believe in it, but then I'm also afraid of purple goblins, stickers and empty wrappers.
and Lastly, I just feel so painfully alone. I know, how is this stressing me out? but everytime I think about my future, I scare myself by how empty it would be...and I love my family but they have thier lives to live as well...I can't be that creepy uncle who never seems to go away o.O...i mean I used to find my uncles a but annoying when I was younger and I guess this is karma right?
I don't know....it just feels like I am being overwhelmed with things I can't control...I know I should trust God and just live day by day, but that's easier said than done...