I'm over you

I'm over you. I'm not going to obsess about you or your boyfriend anymore. Of course, writing about it isn't going to just magically make it true, but now that it's out there on my limited ambiguous blog, I feel pressured to honor it...I don't know. I just need to tell someone that I'm trying to let you go, it just hurts a bit to see how easily you could do the same for me. But you reap what you sow so I guess I had this coming.

Sad little boy

I'm going to leave this very ambiguous but I need to rant since I have no one else to rant to. Anyways someone I really liked apparently moved on and is very happy with her life. We were so close to be together but religion kept us apart. Anyways, I don't blame her because I was the one who decided to follow the holy path instead of my heart. So she was heartbroken and so was I...but she found someone else and to be honest, I was happy for her at first. But I cant stand them. I can't hang around her because it feels like my heart is breaking and I can't stand him because I want to rip his throat out. Regardless, this was the path I chose so I shouldn't be complaining and if the choice came again, I know ill do the same thing again. It doesn't make it any easier though. There was a time when I felt devastated and depressed for ages. I felt like the world was empty and broken...and religion has always made me feel whole again. There were moments where the worst that could happen, did! and there was no one around to lean on, but I prayed and miracles happened. I know Im not the most faithful person, but I do try to be better. I'd be lying if I said I didn't question my religion at times (like these times) but I can't understand the grander scheme of life so I guess God has greater plans than the ones were making. I guess I just see what might have been and Im hoping that I get that sometime soon.