Fireworks

So today started out as a usual Saturday. Woke up, ate...a lazy day in the making. It was the hot air balloon festival and I had other plans to not attend, though that fell through so feeling a bit bored I decides to call up my friends. Boke was free and he wanted to go to the thing and I was really hesitant because it was already late into the evening and I wasnt in the mood. But decided regardless since my schedule was depressingly clear and it was actually one of my better decisions this week. I had fun to say the least and got to see fireworks. Something about the fireworks get set in my good mood. Seeing them burst bright in the night sky was surprisingly euphoric. Got a video that I hope my net connection won't ass out and fail to upload.

Write

I can write! I know, you'd think that after 3 blogs and about 30 posts I'd realise that by now but hey, we're all not fast learners now are we?
Anyways, I have been on a writing high lately and I am typing, jotting, recording my every thought and I have to say, I've got some pretty good ideas...sometimes.
Still I've been praying for this kind of motivation and here it is. Its actually kind of weird how this high just comes and goes...I'll take what I can get though. Lets just hope it lasts.

Still Here.

Yes, I'm still alive.
Though at this point I wonder why even journal my life with a blog. The answer of course is because my actual journal is almost full and I'm still trying to keep that for future memories. Right now It's stuff with ticket stubs, receipts and photographs. So every other mundane thought has to put somewhere, and I'm not about to get 2 journals, because that would mean I'd eventually treat the second as equally revered as the first.
I have this weird thing where I tend to nice to inanimate objects. I sometimes feel bad when I drop a book or something, as if I'd dropped a small animal.

On the plus side, I've finished Gears of War. It's a game, in case there was any misunderstanding. Why does this deserve recognition you ask? (you probably didn't but I'd like to think you were curious) Well, for as long as I could remember, I would start a new game, bubbling with optimistic enthusiasm that this would be the one that would give me sweet release from the doldrums of my life, even for a moment, but then it would lose all appeal. Whenever I'd play again, it felt like a chore, not entertainment. For movies and books though this rule  has no application. When I start reading a series I HAVE to finish it, so much so that when they series gets cancelled along the way I'd create a fan fiction ending so that I can have closure.  But back to the main point. I finished Gears of War! The first game since forever where I actually started and ended. I don't know, it feels like I've accomplished something here.

That's about it I guess. Just wanted to announce my existence.

Smart phone awesome

Blogging on my phone. Smart phone are seriously getting more awesome with each passing day. Though I have the most smallest keypad so that's proving to be an issue, but nothing that patience and autocorrect can't handle.

It's just 5...am...

So now I'm seriously starting to think that I have a problem with sleep. It's 5am now and I should be rolling over and spouting gibberish from all the lack of sleep I've been having but nothing.
I don't even feel sleepy.
And what do I do when I don't sleep? Nothing..absolutely nothing.
I feel like I could be spending the time painting or writing, but I have no ideas. I want to write so many stories but there comes a time when I have no idea what happens next.
I think I went into this writing thing too young. How can I write what happens next if I never even really got there myself.
I seem to be rambling about writing a lot recently. What's up with that?
I've always loved writing, but now I seem to be obsessing over it.
I want to write an ebook...okay, that was quite spontaneous....seriously Taiki, how long was that brewing in your mind?
Have you ever had a thought that just sits there in the back of your mind, eating at you but you don't want to say it out loud because once you do you'll feel obligated to see it through? No? Just me?
Now I'm rating books online, which I find ironic since I don't really have that level of expertise to pass judgement on other people's work but still...
I should try to sleep.

I can't write.

I love writing.
God I love writing. I can spend hours just thinking out plots and stories; Making lives out of nothing but imagination. But here's the thing, I've lived a fairly sheltered and closed life.
I mean at 22, I've never been to party, never broke curfew, been single...I haven't even littered for God's sake.
And while I am a very strict advocate for rules and social order...my life really isn't something anyone would want to read about. It would be like reading a rulebook if anything.
I don't lie where it counts, even if the truth would seriously hinder me.
I can't spin a good story because I have none! All of mine end up extremely predictable.
The craziest thing I've done was dye my hair and go for a cosplay thing.
That's like...the most insane thing I've ever done. Where's the story in there?!
I can't write a love story because I've been single for all my life! I can't do horror or thriller because the most fear I've ever faced or seen was when I had a bad reaction to allergy medication! I can't do drama because there is no drama when you follow every social convention!
I mean, my biggest regret is that I haven't done anything worth regretting!
Whenever I write a story, I reach a point where I ask myself why? Why is he doing this? Why doesn't he just follow the rules? and where the answer should be obvious, to me it's the most far fetched thing in the world. I can't make up the words anymore, because the character become less real after then.
Why would you die for love? Kill for vengeance? Steal because of envy?
These things don't make any sense to me...I can't further my story after that.
I just got an epiphany of sorts when I realized that I didn't get my internship. I went into a crazy spiral thinking that it was too late to be an animator and that I wouldn't graduate in time, but then I had to remind myself why I was doing this in the first place!
I needed to get the life experience to make a novel! I need to travel the world and see what life has to offer so i can make a masterpiece...to finally tell my story.
I think that is what I want most in my life....to tell my story.